The Mother Dance

Harriet Lerner

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Country of origin: United States Dispatched within 14 working days depending on supplier
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Harriet Lerner
How Children Change Your Life
Harper Perennial
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An incredible book

I finished this book in about 4 hours flat. Wow! is all I can say. But then again, when am I ever strapped for words! It is an amazing book and I cannot stop thinking about it. After I had finished reading it, I just retreated to my room for a while, to try and calm the thoughts whirling around in my head! How to summarise this? Firstly, I think that it’s a book that every woman should read: even if you plan to never have children, you still have a mother yourself; if you are planning on becoming a mother, this can better prepare you for the way that you, your partner and your relationship will change; if you are already a mother, it can educate you on how gender roles become enforced and entrenched once you became a mother; if you are a grandmother, it can help you see your relationship with your daughter (and vise-versa) in a new light. But, most of all, if you are a father (or you’re thinking of becoming a father), you should read this book. It’s not a traditional self-help book, but the author gives good parenting advice along the way. She’s also a realist, there’s no sugar coating and soppily painted pictures of a perfectly content mother cuddling close with her angelic newborn. The author talks about the highs and the lows of motherhood honestly, and I could completely relate to her descriptions. The book is not a mothering or parenting book really, it is more about how a woman changes once she becomes a mom, how her partner changes, how their relationship changes and how her job changes. It’s also about how even the most radical of feminists can get sucked into the traditional gender roles of “women, the mother” and “man, the family provider”. It just clarified so many things that have been floating about in my subconscious since I became a mom and I think that this is the book that is going to change my life, and my relationships with the people in my life, for the better. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. All my friends have already been told that they NEED to read it! I am going to get this author’s other books and read them in the hope that they will be as enlightening and helpful.


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